Ambition

I woke up this morning with a song in my head. It's actually come to mind over and over through the years when I find myself pushing too hard or being overcome by drivenness. It's one of Amy Grant's very early tunes. Great finger style acoustic!

All I Ever Have to Be

When the weight of all my dreams
Is resting heavy on my head,
And the thoughtful words of health and hope
Have all been nicely said.

But I'm still hurting,
Wondering if Ill ever be
The one I think I am. I think I am.



Then you gently re-remind me
That you've made me from the first,
And the more I try to be the best
The more I get the worst.

And I realize the good in me,
Is only there because of who you are.
Who you are...

And all I ever have to be
Is what you've made me.
Any more or less would be a step
Out of your plan.

As you daily recreate me,
Help me always keep in mind
That I only have to do
What I can find.

And all I ever have to be
All I have to be
All I ever have to be Is what you've made me.

I thought about it a little differently this morning. A Bible verse that means a lot to me is Philippians 1:21 "For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain." The way it struck me today is that someday my switch is gonna flip and that'll be all the time I have. I can stress out about that day, or I can just get up and give it all I got every morning and accept that when it's my time I'll have done my very best.

Some of you might not relate to this, but when you have that driven side and deep sense of purpose, you have to temper that with a sort of resting in God's plans. Paul, in the Philippians 1 area, wanted to take this life-giving message to the world, but he also realized that a day was coming when his part would be done.

So a few years back I wrote another song that, now that I look at it, smacks of the whole "All I Ever Have to Be" thing. The old Scarlet and White gang will recognize it...

Create Me

I want it all I want it now
The fires of ambition blaze within my heart
Caught between
What I am and what I want to be
This planet spins too slow for my determined soul

Your love and holy power can destroy my chains
As flesh gives way to Spirit one desire remains

Create me, Creator
Finish what you started in me, Creator
Don't leave me as I am
More like you, Creator
That's all I want to be
Create me, create me

My temples throb
My chest is aching
My stomach burns as my pulse beats triple time
The pressure mounts
Oh I'm not satisfied
This can't be all,
I just know there's so much more

Your love and holy power can destroy my chains
As flesh gives way to Spirit one desire remains
Create me, Creator
Finish what you started in me, Creator
Don't leave me as I am More like you, Creator
That's all I want to be Create me, create me

So it's another Saturday. The rain falls, the birds are searching worms, and the earth is slowly coming to life again today. I like days like this. Create me, Creator.