Lord, Be Glorified

I've got an old worship song going through my head tonight. Wish I had a recording of it, but the version in my head is pretty good. I'm remembering the chapel back at North Central University, and the band laying down a very tight rock groove, straight 4 with the descending bass pattern locked in with the kick. Larry Bach pulls a thousand faces from prayer to song with a quiet piano intro and some encouraging words. Three part BGV's are ready at the mic as hands and passion shoot to the sky.

Lord, be glorified in the life of your servant

I am your child, teach me to walk in your ways

May my sacrifice be a sweet smelling savor

Lord of my life, teach me how to praise

And the praise goes improv as the band vamps it once on our own. (I'm on bass by the way. Right in that side door corner at the bottom of the stairs.)

One Accord 1988, North Central Bible College Chapel

Lord, Be Glorified

I've got an old worship song going through my head tonight. Wish I had a recording of it, but the version in my head is pretty good. I'm remembering the chapel back at North Central University, and the band laying down a very tight rock groove, straight 4 with the descending bass pattern locked in with the kick. Larry Bach pulls a thousand faces from prayer to song with a quiet piano intro and some encouraging words. Three part BGV's are ready at the mic as hands and passion shoot to the sky.

Lord, be glorified in the life of your servant
I am your child, teach me to walk in your ways
May my sacrifice be a sweet smelling savor
Lord of my life, teach me how to praise

And the praise goes improv as the band vamps it once on our own. (I'm on bass by the way. Right in that side door corner at the bottom of the stairs.)

One Accord 1988, North Central Bible College Chapel

The music wasn't about the style, although we loved that. The style just meant that the praise was coming from  us, from who we were. And jocks and brains and profs and babes, mostly we were all into it. Chapel was an amazing privilege. And God met us there over and over. And we were becoming men and women, servant leaders from kids.

Lord, be glorified in me still today. Let my life be a sweet smelling savor still today. Still teach me how to walk and how to praise.

Lead Me to the Rock

Psalm 61

For the director of music. With stringed instruments. Of David.

 ¹ Hear my cry, O God;
       listen to my prayer. ² From the ends of the earth I call to you,
       I call as my heart grows faint;
       lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

 ³ For you have been my refuge,
       a strong tower against the foe.
 ⁴ I long to dwell in your tent forever
       and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
       Selah
 ⁵ For you have heard my vows, O God;
       you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name.
 ⁶ Increase the days of the king's life,
       his years for many generations.
 ⁷ May he be enthroned in God's presence forever;
       appoint your love and faithfulness to protect him.
 ⁸ Then will I ever sing praise to your name
       and fulfill my vows day after day.

Welcome to Our World

We had the kids Christmas musical at church this morning. Jason hasn't been able to be part of it this year, but he said he enjoyed watching it just as well. The highlight of the morning was a song that gets me every time: Welcome to Our World, sung by Michael W Smith, written by Chris Rice.

(right click on the above link and click "open link in new tab/window" to listen while reading)

Northwoods Vineyard Church, Tomahawk, WI

I'll be honest, the impact of the song was mainly the memory of waiting for Jason to be born. We were preparing for the annual Christmas production down at Racine Assembly and Bekah Mokry was hanging out at the church quite a bit to rehearse the song. I had never even heard Michael W sing it, so it was Bekah's song all the way.

Lord You're Near - Vineyard Music

Let's go with a song link tonight. I love our church band rendition of this song, and the original by the Vineyard UK is really great. Right click on this link and click "open link in new page/tab" to have it play along.

Lord You're Near

Lord You're near to those who are discouraged
You save those who have lost all hope
You've taken my sorrow and surrounded me with joy
You're here with me, Your touch gives me life

To You, oh Lord,
Must the glory be given [repeat 4x]

Lord, You're near, I feel secure, nothing can take me
I know Your love will be with me for all time
Oh Lord You know what I long for
You're all I want in this life, don't leave me


Praise Him, praise Him, praise Him,
Praise Him, praise Him, praise Him
Praise Him, praise Him, praise Him,
Praise Him, praise Him


I look in the eyes of broken people every day. Financially broken, physically broken, socially broken, relationally broken, spiritually broken...we all carry a degree of brokenness, and usually much greater than we're willing to admit. And rightfully so. Just because we don't unload our problems on every person who walks through our door, doesn't mean we're hypocrites! There's definitely a line out to be drawn between being authentic and being inappropriate.


That said, there's plenty of brokenness in our path most everyday. And God is near. God is near the discouraged. He brings hope and healing and joy. And those are just words until you've felt suffocating despair, crippling illness or devastating loss.


It's stunning to me that God would come here! That he'd come here as a helpless baby, into a world presenting more danger than rush hour traffic to a runaway stroller. And his reputation was not at risk, it was a guaranteed loss.


My favorite name for God is Emmanuel, meaning God with us. When I was young I liked it because it started with an E, like Evan. It has the same feeling today but for different reasons. God is the near one. And Christmas means that the creator of the universe has broken in and shown up! He's near.


He's near when you're alone. He's near when you're bankrupt, or homeless. He's near when you have everything, but you have no fulfillment. And he surprises us with good things.


To you, oh Lord, must the glory be given!

Jimmy Buffet - Margaritaville

OK, to listen to the song while reading the post, just right-click on the link below and click "open link in new tab" or "open in new window". The music should magically play whilst you read. Make sure your sound is on...groovy!

Jimmy Buffet - Margaritaville

So if Jesus showed up on the beach with Jimmy and gang, what we he say?

Nibblin' on sponge cake

Watchin' the sun bake

All of those tourists covered with oil

Strummin' my six-string

On my front porch swing

Smell those shrimp they're beginnin' to boil

Chorus:

Wastin' away again in Margaritaville

Searching for my lost shaker of salt

Some people claim that there's a woman to blame

But I know it's nobody's fault

Yep, let's start here. Wastin' away isn't really Jesus' style, but he never seemed to hammer people who were wasted...or on the way. "Wastin" has the idea that there was something really great and worthwhile here and now it's broken or missing. And it seems like there's a relationship gone bad, whoever's to blame. So this is pretty much why Jesus even showed up on earth.

I don't know the reason
I stayed here all season
Nothin' to show but this brand new tattoo
But it's a real beauty
A Mexican cutie
How it got here I haven't a clue


Goofiness. My life stinks so who cares if I end up with a little chickie permanently stamped on my body by mistake. It's meaningless.

Wastin' away again in Margaritaville
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame
Now I think
Hell, it could be my fault

Pretty interesting that the realization is dawning that dude in the story might have actually contributed to the problem.

I blew out my flip-flop

Stepped on a pop-top

Cut my heel had to cruise on back home

But there's booze in the blender

And soon it will render

That frozen concoction that helps me hang on

Stupid as it sounds, I can relate to this...life is about half an inch deep when you're talking about flip-flops and pop-tops. And the booze (or insert whatever medication or addiction here) helps you just get to another day, which beats the alternative. And in a way the hopelessness has hope to it, because he's hanging for something...for the possibility of a turn for the better.

Wastin' away again in Margaritaville

Searching for my lost shaker of salt

Some people claim that there's a woman to blame

But I know it's my own damn fault

Yes and some people claim that there's a woman to blame

And I know it's my own damn fault

To the wastin' away, Jesus says "I've got a plan and purpose for you that's so much more than this." To the relationship that went bad, Jesus says "Hang out with me and we'll find a way to do relationships without all the drama." To the "it's my own damn fault", Jesus says, "So what if it is?! The only perfection comes with forgiveness and fresh starts."

Jesus said in Matthew's Gospel (11:28) "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." He brings forgiveness, healing, purpose, strength...

Jesus loves us enough to find us in Margaritaville and help us start over with him in the real world, with real life.

And why not go back to the tropics with someone you care about and try a different approach!

Oswald Chambers: Test of Faithfulness

Thoughts from Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest:

We know that all things work together for good to those who love God . . . —Romans 8:28

Being faithful to Jesus Christ is the most difficult thing we try to do today. We will be faithful to our work, to serving others, or to anything else; just don’t ask us to be faithful to Jesus Christ. Many Christians become very impatient when we talk about faithfulness to Jesus. Our Lord is dethroned more deliberately by Christian workers than by the world. We treat God as if He were a machine designed only to bless us, and we think of Jesus as just another one of the workers.

The goal of faithfulness is not that we will do work for God, but that He will be free to do His work through us. God calls us to His service and places tremendous responsibilities on us. He expects no complaining on our part and offers no explanation on His part. God wants to use us as He used His own Son.

I don't want to be a loser or failure in any sense of the word, but I've got to pick my loyalties and stick to my guns! To try to be a "winner" in every aspect of my life only means sacrificing priorities and principles. That's true in many places, and certainly true of being a Jesus-follower.

"All things" working for the good requires a long view of life, and patience. And Hebrews 11 says that some of the faithful never saw the fruit of their sacrifice...on this side. I love when we see awesome God stuff, and I think "suffering well" is only one part of a much bigger picture.

But it's definitely part of it. God help me to be faithful!

God-shaped Vacuum

“There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every person, and it can never be filled by any created thing.  It can only be filled by God, made known through Jesus Christ.” (Blaise Pascal, 1623-1662)


I've been blessed to grow up in a godly home. Can't tell you how thankful I am for that. Some would say, and I sometimes felt, that I was sheltered and naive. Still, there's been PLENTY of opportunity to breathe the culture of Manitoba, Ontario, Minnesota and Wisconsin...with modest ventures beyond. I'm not an isolationist.



But I do think there are times when my devotional connection with God has been a neglected and weak, and I've felt at least a bit of that God-shaped vacuum. Sometimes it takes a few days to realize that the funk I'm in is of my own doing, since I'm not giving enough attention to my inner life, my spirit.


Filling that God-shaped vacuum is a lifelong pursuit, one that requires faith, trust and time. That's one thing I like about the pensive Pensees of Pascal: they're deep, reflective, meditative. That's a powerful channel for God to move through in the filling of our souls.


Solomon of ancient Israel said it like this: "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." (Proverbs 4:23)

Facedown Worship

From Matt Redman’s Facedown:

“Facedown worship always begins as a posture of the heart. It’s people so desperate for the increase of Christ that they find themselves decreasing to the ground in an act of reverent submission. When a soul is so captivated by the Almighty, to bend low in true and total surrender seems the only appropriate response.

On several different occasions, the Bible allows us a glimpse into an open heaven. Each time is a window of revelation through which we discover more of what worship looks like before the heavenly throne. And there’s a whole lot of facedown worship going on. In Revelation, John encounters the risen and exalted Jesus, whose eyes blaze like fire and whose face is shining like the sun in all its brilliance. Overwhelmed to the core, John shrinks to the ground in reverence and fear (see Revelation 1). A few chapters later, the elders too are falling down in holy devotion.”

God, increase in my life today. Help me decrease, not in my wholeness and personhood, but in my arrogance and selfishness. Lift me up to be humble.

American Christmas

We had our American Christmas tonight, 10 days early so it works with our Canada trip. Our whole family was home, including Megan’s boyfriend, Tim. Grandpa John and Grandma Joanne were over too. 

Colleen’s Japanese Chicken was a huge hit at dinner. Megan and Tim played some LOUD games of Dutch Blitz with each other. Then, after dinner but before presents, the Christmas story: Luke 2:1-20. I read it myself this year and then prayed blessing over everyone in the room, and thankfulness for the coming of baby Jesus.

The Birth of Jesus

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

The Shepherds and the Angels

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

And then it was presents, hugs, pictures, coffee and dessert, and bedtime on a school night! Thanks God for an amazing evening. Jesus, thanks for stepping into our very needy world…and for making a way.

In Repentance and Rest, In Quietness and Trust

This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
       "In repentance and rest is your salvation,
       in quietness and trust is your strength,
       but you would have none of it. (Isaiah 30:15)

God, tonight I don’t want “none of it”; I want “it”. I want your salvation and your strength through repentance and rest, through quietness and trust. As I lay down, I rest in you. However my day measures up, I’m yours and I’m “in”. Come, rest. Come, Lord.

Merrilyn Frying Bruce's Fish Filets

Walked through the kitchen just now and Col is griddling up some chicken as part of her Japanese Chicken dish for tomorrow night. It’s a spectacular meal! We’ll be celebrating our American Christmas tomorrow night since we’re leaving Christmas Eve for Canada.

Seeing the chicken battered up and sizzling took me right back to Kenora, Ontario in my high school years. Dad loved to throw the canoe on top of the car and head out the Jones Road for a few hours of quiet time with the fish. He’d come back with three or four and clean them on top of the freezer, just out the back door of the house on Tetroe Road. I can see the fish eyes looking at me as they waited their turn, fins flipping back and forth just a bit.

Then Mom would take those filets and flour ‘em up and fry ‘em up. It smells quite a bit like that right here and now. And we were home.

Thoughts on Heaven

So I'm having a peaceful moment before I start into a big project this afternoon. I love peaceful moments. They have a heavenish feel. I'm home, in my office, watching the December snow melt and drip a bit on my south-facing windows. I'm surrounded by walls of books, and officey things, and I'm thinking about heaven. Heaven must be a bit like an English manor.

Manors are often grand, like a castle, but still personal and warm. I can see the window where my office would be. Somehow I'd have responsibilities, the kind of responsibilities that you feel you have the resources to look after. But there would always be time to sit around a warm fire with family and friends.

Heaven's not going to be about the mansions, though I think we'll be well accommodated. There will be a palace and throne more majestic than The White House, Neuschwanstein Castle and the Taj Majal rolled into one. But if what I know of God is true, we'll be awestruck by the gentle humility that comes together with the power of Creator God.


Jesus, the Humble King, the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world...we'll be overwhelmed by the love of our servant monarch.


Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world, have mercy on us. Have mercy on us. Grant us your peace.


 ¹Then I saw in the right hand of him who sat on the throne a scroll with writing on both sides and sealed with seven seals.²And I saw a mighty angel proclaiming in a loud voice, "Who is worthy to break the seals and open the scroll?" ³But no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth could open the scroll or even look inside it. ⁴I wept and wept because no one was found who was worthy to open the scroll or look inside. ⁵Then one of the elders said to me, "Do not weep! See, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has triumphed. He is able to open the scroll and its seven seals."
 ⁶Then I saw a Lamb, looking as if it had been slain, standing in the center of the throne, encircled by the four living creatures and the elders. He had seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven spirits^[a] of God sent out into all the earth.⁷He came and took the scroll from the right hand of him who sat on the throne. ⁸And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints. ⁹And they sang a new song:
   "You are worthy to take the scroll
      and to open its seals,
   because you were slain,
      and with your blood you purchased men for God
      from every tribe and language and people and nation.
 ¹⁰You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God,
      and they will reign on the earth."
 ¹¹Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders. ¹²In a loud voice they sang:
   "Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain,
   to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength
   and honor and glory and praise!"
 ¹³Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing:
   "To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb
   be praise and honor and glory and power,
         for ever and ever!" ¹⁴The four living creatures said, "Amen," and the elders fell down and worshiped.

Revelation 5:1-14

Wow, the peaceful moment gets pretty raucous! But everything is set right, and Yahweh is the LORD, and the peace is both transcendent and imminent. It's out of this world, and it's right here.

Heaven must be a bit like an English manor.

Intelligent Design

I came across this story tonight and it left me a bit awestruck. Granted, I'm already an Intelligent Design proponent. Granted, there's much more statistical, empirical proof for design than this simple illustration. But the story itself is compelling, even though the real odds for intelligent design are exponentially greater even than this.

Chicago: OrchestraHall

So here it is:

"Consider further the case of Artur Rubinstein. Imagine it's 1971 and you are at Orchestra Hall in Chicago listening to Rubinstein perform. As you listen to him perform Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody no. 2 in C-Sharp Minor, you think to yourself, I know the man I'm listening to right now is a wonderful musician, but there's an outside possibility that he doesn't know the first thing about music and the he is just banging away at the piano haphazardly. The fact that Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody was cascading from Rubinstein's fingers would thus merely be a happy accident.

Mind Like Water

I got a tip a few years ago to check out productivity guru David Allen. I did and I'm hooked. The centerpiece of his system is a book by the title Getting Things Done. While it's a lifelong pursuit, much of my personal organization is modeled on his ideas. Great tips on customizing Microsoft Outlook, too, for more efficiency. Interested? Here's a sample from a David Allen email. See what you think. Mind Like Water Even very important things can be on cruise control and not on your mind. If your attention is being grabbed, then there's almost an inverse relationship there. The degree to which your attention is being grabbed is the degree to which you are not free to place your attention where and how you want to. So, if nothing else, it's just a pure practical idea that, if you can get rid of the demons that are grabbing hold of your brain and shaking it around—whether that's buy cat food or reconsidering your career—then it will give you a lot more freedom to be thinking about those things in more creative ways or not have to think about them at all. In Getting Things Done, this is a key practice I discuss in the very first chapter:

A Little Bit of Light

OK, I’m not an art critic. I do, however, have fairly strong emotional responses to visual art and especially music. My favorite musician, Phil Keaggy, gives his take on Vincent Van Gogh’s painting, Starry Night, in the song, A Little Bit of Light…another one of my five-star songs. Phil’s got more fives in my collection than any other artist. Click on the title if you want to listen along in another window. Use the best audio you can…big difference… My take is after the lyrics.

A Little Bit of Light

I lie here staring at the starry night
Vincent Van Gogh you really got it right
Your brush strokes paint the darkness in your life
Behind every brush stroke I find
A little bit of light

 The sound and the fury kept me up all night
Count no count – you got me all uptight
The struggle for the soul is a terrible fight
Behind every word I find
A little bit of light

It's a beautiful thing to see through the eye
Of pain and heartache laid into the night
You run from the darkness in this life
But if you turn around you'll find
A little bit of light

The blackest sea would tell a tale
Of journeys the chosen few have prevailed
The failing dream could reach the highest height
And love comes tumbling down in a little bit of light
A little bit of light

 Don't forget the sunflowers or the lilies fair
The spotted horses and that old black bear
Laughter turns the tears we often cry
And joy comes crashing in
In a little bit of light

It's a beautiful thing to see through the eyes
Of pain and heartache laid into the night
Don’t run from the darkness in this life
Cause if you turn around you'll find
A little bit of light

Lyrics by Keith Moore, Music by Phil Keaggy, c 1998 Bridge Building Music and Word Music

Mr. Hovi

Neil Diamond got the ball rolling with his TV concert in New York City tonight. The stroll down memory lane got me thinking about junior high at Lakewood School in Kenora, Ontario. I got to surfing tunes on Grooveshark and bumped into some Burton Cummings. Anyone remember Stand Tall?

Grace, The Beggar's Kingdom

Another quote from Blue Like Jazz, from Chapter 7, Grace, The Beggar's Kingdom: pages 83-85 – "Enlightenment came in an unexpected place: a grocery store. I was on my way over Mount Hood to spend some time in the high desert with a few friends. I was driving alone and decided to stop in at Safeway to pick up some provisions for the weekend.

While standing in line at the checkout counter, the lady in front of me pulled out food stamps to pay for groceries. I had never seen food stamps before. They were more colorful than I imagined and looked more like money than stamps. It was obvious that she unfolded the currency that she, I., and the checkout girl were quite uncomfortable with the interaction. I wish there was something I could do. I wished I could pay for her groceries myself, but to do so would have been to cause a greater scene.

Thumpin

It all started back in Kenora, Ontario. Some friends were getting a band together and the missing piece was the bass guitar. It was 9th grade and my family was new in town, with my parents moving there to pastor a church. I had piano lessons when I was younger, until my pushback finally got to be too much. I took guitar lessons for a while before we left Brandon and I kinda liked that. But now, a bassist was needed.

I remember the first bass, a starter model for sure, graciously provided by my parents. I had a couple of books but mostly it was "Somebody start playin' and I'll figure something out." Then it was mix tapes with band songs, over and over until it felt good. Not the worst way to learn an instrument: just get into the music.

Blue Like Jazz

Page ix – “I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn’t resolve. But I was outside the Baghdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes. After that I liked jazz music.

Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way. I used to not like God because God didn’t resolve. But that was before any of this happened.”

*****

So here it is, my first book review. Actually, it's more of a book sample...hope that's OK. I love this book! I read it last summer on family vacation at a beautiful lake spot in northern Minnesota. I have this passion for what feels real inside of me to be presented credibly to people in my circles. I think Donald Miller does a lot of that in Blue Like Jazz. He's put words and stories to dozens of the deep things I feel.

Wonderful World, Chris Eaton

Last stop before bed tonight: one of my 5 star mp3s. I've never listened so closely to the lyrics. Unbelievable! I always caught the "wonderful" part and never really heard the reality of the pain that came before. This is so good.

It's like Romans 8:26,28 from The Message: Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. ...That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

 Wonderful World

I have shouldered the blame far too long
I have hidden my light under a cloud
Only in these days of release
Have I understood mercy and grace

Music

The fall of 1988 was one of the most intense seasons of my life. I was a 20-year-old junior at North Central Bible College in Minneapolis and I felt a drive and determination to grab all of life in one huge handful.

One of my methods was to take huge amounts of time every day to connect spiritually with my Creator. It wasn't uncommon to take 2 or 3 hours a day and just pour through the scriptures and journal and walk. I wouldn't let myself go to bed until I'd had at least 75 minutes of this sort of devotional quiet time. Reckless, but amazing! More on that another day.

Flash back a few months to my sophomore year.

What Are We Holding Onto Sam?

Do you remember Frodo's words at the end of this part of the story?

I spent a little time with The Two Towers--middle film of the Lord of the Rings trilogy--last weekend. I watched some of the background features while I was doing laundry and bills and such.

The timing was providential. I was very weary of my 6-month commute amid the challenges of life and family, and I was feeling a tad overwhelmed. Hearing the screenplay writers talk about the choices and edits they had to make brought out more clearly the overriding theme of this middle episode: the journey is long and dangerous and difficult, but if we keep going when there is no hope left something unexpectedly good might come along and change everything. Hmmm...

Friends

Packing up the dreams God planted

In the fertile soil of you

 In the summers of 1988 and 1989, I had the honor of traveling with two different groups of folks from my first college, North Central Bible College, now North Central University. They called us One Accord and we represented the college for 8 or 9 months on the road throughout the Midwest. Two summers of doing music at youth camps…I attended 17 one-week-long youth camps over that span. Still trying to catch up on sleep! Almost every camp ended with the Michael W Smith classic: Friends.

Cant believe the hopes he’s granted
Means a chapter in your life is through

They were the best of times, they were the worst of times. Mostly the best. But I’m not just thinking about the old OA friends tonight. I’m thinking about the whole enterprise of friendship with all of it’s color and life. It hit me a couple of years ago that I’ve had so many great friends and I had this sort of desperate feeling of disconnection from most of them. It was triggered by some sappy movie where a bunch of friends lived in a big house, but then they kinda moved away at the end, and one of them goes to visit another one at his beach house and finds pictures of the old gang plastered all over…unforgotten.

But we’ll keep you close as always
It wont even seem you’ve gone

By the way, if anyone thinks they know what movie that is, please let me know. I have no idea what it’s called. So a friend, over an Applebee’s lunch, suggested Google groups as a way of reconnecting. I started there with a degree of success. Facebook is easier to maintain and find old friends with.

I hear people say all the time, “I don’t have time to waste messing around with Facebook!” Point taken. But I’m actually find this an extremely efficient way of connecting with folks. Brandon, Virden, Winnipeg, Kenora, Manhatten Beach, Minneapolis, Stevens Point, Spencer Lake, Racine, Wausau, the Midwest, all over Canada, all over the US, all over the world…my old friends are scattered to the four winds…

‘Cause our hearts in big and small ways

Will keep the love that keeps us strong

Some say that electronic friendship is not meaningful. Again, point taken. But to push back a little, there’s also a depth and richness in surveying profiles and notes and connections that goes a whole lot deeper than shooting the breeze at the water cooler. And if we got a hand written letter, we’d think the world of that friend and their deep thoughtfulness. Hello?! I feel so much more informed and connected now when I’m fortunate enough to run into the old friends, or the new ones, or the ones I live with…

[photo: Evan, Sheri and Heather, 1972]

To the Center

OK, this is my 10th blog entry and I’m taking a moment to consider the path so far. The idea is basically, Hey, I’m a guy who’s trying to live my life with Jesus at the center, so what does that look like for me? If Jesus is at the center, what makes up the concentric circles of my life? Part of my motivation is the misconception I see every day about folks like me. So I’m taking the liberty to fill in my own circles, thank you very much, and if you’re reading this you’ve come at least part way for the ride.

So far: Filling In My Circles; I Melt; TEA Parties; Humble King; My Tribe; Ambition; Eric Clapton and My Kids; Summers with the Brew Crew; To Pastor Again…. But enough about my eccentricities! I’d like to pause today and focus purely on my center. If I could boil a near-lifetime of Jesus following down to a few paragraphs, what would I say?

I have to start with love. My center, Jesus, starts with love. God is love. And love’s not just an affectionate thing, although I’m all for expressing affection. Love has the guts and grit to say, I’m going to put your needs ahead of my own. I love the famous John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” God becoming man, forgiving us…I know I need it. I’m so thankful! So I try to emulate that self-sacrificing love.

Then this paradoxical thing happens where we lay down our lives with that sort of sacrificial commitment, and we get back more than we could have hoped for. We get joy. And it’s not just “Hey, look at my new Cadillac” joy. It’s also “Let’s go for a ride in my rusted out Bronco II” joy. And pretty much no one instinctively wants to sign up for that kind of joy, but it ends up being the real stuff. The non-mirage. I’m overwhelmed by joy.

Jason, my littlest guy, and I have been doing this thing when we hear a dove this spring: saying “I hear peacefulness.” You know, because doves are one of the symbols of peace. And we have our little house in the Shire and we run around like little hobbits in the green grass, and I thank God for peace. And we have these excruciating moments as a family, in our marriage and with our kids, and then there’s peace. And we all mature day by day, and the good times get richer, and I hear the doves. Jesus is a big peace guy.

I talked about ambition in a blog entry a few weeks ago. I have to temper that drive I feel, and that’s part of the patience I feel the Holy Spirit working in me. More Jesus. Part of it is the eternal perspective that says, in light of the grand story of God, I can humbly accept my circumstances and timeline. I need that.

Jesus was pretty direct, even hostile, with arrogant religious people. But to normal, run of the mill folks like you and I, kindness all the way. Romans 2:4: “Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?” Turns out God isn’t trying to catch me in sin and then nail me to the wall. Sweet! Makes me want to show kindness. Brings me off my high horse.

If this is sounding like a bit of a list, it is. They call it the fruit of the Spirit, in Galatians 5:22-23: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” We’re 55% done.

Good vs evil. We’re so wary of defining that these days, and not wanting to be judgmental is a good thing. But Jesus is all good. He’s like the rock under the lighthouse when the waves are going wild. I’ve still got so much to learn about good and evil and being tossed on the waves. Religious people make some very unhelpful pronouncements…but I want to have a rock at my center.

Faithfulness. Anyone ever been betrayed? Uh yeah…that’s the opposite. I don’t want even a hint of that at my center. Faithfulness has the ideas of loyalty and truth and belief. So we wake up everyday in a world of backstabbing, shades of grey and cynicism. No thanks! I want better!

Gentleness. Ah, you might have read my Humble King post. This is so core for me. Paul says it very directly in Ephesians 4:2: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Are you kidding me!!! Completely humble and gentle!!! Seriously, just put that one in your pipe and smoke it for a minute. So as I field challenges to be successful, be a winner, be powerful, be an influencer, this “completely humble and gentle” thing resonates out from the middle. Kinda feels like a spiritual “Revenge of the Nerds.” I’m OK with that.

Last stop, self-control, which is much to do with personal discipline. Paul rocks on this, 1 Cor 9:24-27: “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” So no letting myself off easy or claiming the victim tag. God help me!

There it is! In these virtues I see the character of Jesus, and that’s one angle from which to view my core. It’s so rich, so deep. I’m continually striving to be more Jesus-centric. I get distracted. My efforts get diluted and diffused, but that’s what I’m shooting for. Inside all of the circles, that’s the center.

 *****

Song links: Be the Center, Jami Smith Be the Center, Vineyard UK

To Pastor Again

So what does one write about after two very long days and nights with very little sleep? I'm going in overnight on Tuesday to sleep at the hospital and be checked for sleep apnea and possibly using a CPAP machine overnight from now on. I wish I had the machine now. I told Col the other night that I've come to hate sleeping. I'm confident that's not forever.

So what does one think about when it's difficult to think at all? Why blog about it? I've found that sometimes when mental energy is exhausted and the emotions are spent, there can be a sort of crystallization of the purest desires of the heart.

It's been over 20 years since I've felt fear of being cut off in my relationship with God. So that's my rock and my center. With my family, we've worked through some anguishing moments, but I know our love and long-term commitment is there and always brings us back to a point of intimacy and blessing. And I feel the same way about friends...always there. Beyond those basic givens then, where does my spirit wander on a day like this?

To pastoring. I love God and I love people. People explode my senses. When I walk down a crowded hallway, I'm blown away by the unbelievable presence of people. Eternal souls with infinite potential to live and love. Awesome! And I love the life-changing message of Jesus, and how the Holy Spirit brings healing and wholeness. And I love truth. Truth rocks.

Summers With the Brew Crew

OK, so my blog entries have been a bit intense lately. Sorry, I'll admit I spend a fair amount of time thinking about deep stuff. Let me tell you about another one of my concentric circles: hanging out with Bob Uecker, Ryan Braun and the rest of the Milwaukee Brewers.

I enjoy the relaxed pace of baseball. I think that means I'm getting old, but I'm OK with that. My Grandpa Sam used to enjoy the lengthy, conversational stride of major league baseball, so I feel connected that way too. Grandpa liked the Yankees, but I think that was mostly about the classy pinstripe look and perhaps a bit about the winning swagger as well. Grandpa was pretty classy guy. Then there's me, cheering on the other end of the sporting food chain...for the Brewers. They've got, oh, maybe a quarter the payroll of the Yankees, but they're our team.

Eric Clapton and My Kids

Middle of the night. Can't sleep. Listening to mp3s and catching up on email, Facebook, news, dreams...

I've heard this Dana Key song many times, but it has different meaning for me tonight. How heartbreaking for Eric Clapton to lose his son (Tears in Heaven), but there's the hope. And I think about how proud I am of my kids, how some of the best days I could imagine are just being with them. We all hate the idea of tragedy, so why not grab onto hope ahead of time? I'm grabbing some tonight.

Ambition

I woke up this morning with a song in my head. It's actually come to mind over and over through the years when I find myself pushing too hard or being overcome by drivenness. It's one of Amy Grant's very early tunes. Great finger style acoustic!

All I Ever Have to Be

When the weight of all my dreams
Is resting heavy on my head,
And the thoughtful words of health and hope
Have all been nicely said.

But I'm still hurting,
Wondering if Ill ever be
The one I think I am. I think I am.