Mind Like Water

I got a tip a few years ago to check out productivity guru David Allen. I did and I'm hooked. The centerpiece of his system is a book by the title Getting Things Done. While it's a lifelong pursuit, much of my personal organization is modeled on his ideas. Great tips on customizing Microsoft Outlook, too, for more efficiency. Interested? Here's a sample from a David Allen email. See what you think. Mind Like Water Even very important things can be on cruise control and not on your mind. If your attention is being grabbed, then there's almost an inverse relationship there. The degree to which your attention is being grabbed is the degree to which you are not free to place your attention where and how you want to. So, if nothing else, it's just a pure practical idea that, if you can get rid of the demons that are grabbing hold of your brain and shaking it around—whether that's buy cat food or reconsidering your career—then it will give you a lot more freedom to be thinking about those things in more creative ways or not have to think about them at all. In Getting Things Done, this is a key practice I discuss in the very first chapter:

A Little Bit of Light

OK, I’m not an art critic. I do, however, have fairly strong emotional responses to visual art and especially music. My favorite musician, Phil Keaggy, gives his take on Vincent Van Gogh’s painting, Starry Night, in the song, A Little Bit of Light…another one of my five-star songs. Phil’s got more fives in my collection than any other artist. Click on the title if you want to listen along in another window. Use the best audio you can…big difference… My take is after the lyrics.

A Little Bit of Light

I lie here staring at the starry night
Vincent Van Gogh you really got it right
Your brush strokes paint the darkness in your life
Behind every brush stroke I find
A little bit of light

 The sound and the fury kept me up all night
Count no count – you got me all uptight
The struggle for the soul is a terrible fight
Behind every word I find
A little bit of light

It's a beautiful thing to see through the eye
Of pain and heartache laid into the night
You run from the darkness in this life
But if you turn around you'll find
A little bit of light

The blackest sea would tell a tale
Of journeys the chosen few have prevailed
The failing dream could reach the highest height
And love comes tumbling down in a little bit of light
A little bit of light

 Don't forget the sunflowers or the lilies fair
The spotted horses and that old black bear
Laughter turns the tears we often cry
And joy comes crashing in
In a little bit of light

It's a beautiful thing to see through the eyes
Of pain and heartache laid into the night
Don’t run from the darkness in this life
Cause if you turn around you'll find
A little bit of light

Lyrics by Keith Moore, Music by Phil Keaggy, c 1998 Bridge Building Music and Word Music

Mr. Hovi

Neil Diamond got the ball rolling with his TV concert in New York City tonight. The stroll down memory lane got me thinking about junior high at Lakewood School in Kenora, Ontario. I got to surfing tunes on Grooveshark and bumped into some Burton Cummings. Anyone remember Stand Tall?

Grace, The Beggar's Kingdom

Another quote from Blue Like Jazz, from Chapter 7, Grace, The Beggar's Kingdom: pages 83-85 – "Enlightenment came in an unexpected place: a grocery store. I was on my way over Mount Hood to spend some time in the high desert with a few friends. I was driving alone and decided to stop in at Safeway to pick up some provisions for the weekend.

While standing in line at the checkout counter, the lady in front of me pulled out food stamps to pay for groceries. I had never seen food stamps before. They were more colorful than I imagined and looked more like money than stamps. It was obvious that she unfolded the currency that she, I., and the checkout girl were quite uncomfortable with the interaction. I wish there was something I could do. I wished I could pay for her groceries myself, but to do so would have been to cause a greater scene.

Thumpin

It all started back in Kenora, Ontario. Some friends were getting a band together and the missing piece was the bass guitar. It was 9th grade and my family was new in town, with my parents moving there to pastor a church. I had piano lessons when I was younger, until my pushback finally got to be too much. I took guitar lessons for a while before we left Brandon and I kinda liked that. But now, a bassist was needed.

I remember the first bass, a starter model for sure, graciously provided by my parents. I had a couple of books but mostly it was "Somebody start playin' and I'll figure something out." Then it was mix tapes with band songs, over and over until it felt good. Not the worst way to learn an instrument: just get into the music.

Blue Like Jazz

Page ix – “I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn’t resolve. But I was outside the Baghdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes. After that I liked jazz music.

Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way. I used to not like God because God didn’t resolve. But that was before any of this happened.”

*****

So here it is, my first book review. Actually, it's more of a book sample...hope that's OK. I love this book! I read it last summer on family vacation at a beautiful lake spot in northern Minnesota. I have this passion for what feels real inside of me to be presented credibly to people in my circles. I think Donald Miller does a lot of that in Blue Like Jazz. He's put words and stories to dozens of the deep things I feel.

Wonderful World, Chris Eaton

Last stop before bed tonight: one of my 5 star mp3s. I've never listened so closely to the lyrics. Unbelievable! I always caught the "wonderful" part and never really heard the reality of the pain that came before. This is so good.

It's like Romans 8:26,28 from The Message: Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. ...That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

 Wonderful World

I have shouldered the blame far too long
I have hidden my light under a cloud
Only in these days of release
Have I understood mercy and grace

Music

The fall of 1988 was one of the most intense seasons of my life. I was a 20-year-old junior at North Central Bible College in Minneapolis and I felt a drive and determination to grab all of life in one huge handful.

One of my methods was to take huge amounts of time every day to connect spiritually with my Creator. It wasn't uncommon to take 2 or 3 hours a day and just pour through the scriptures and journal and walk. I wouldn't let myself go to bed until I'd had at least 75 minutes of this sort of devotional quiet time. Reckless, but amazing! More on that another day.

Flash back a few months to my sophomore year.

What Are We Holding Onto Sam?

Do you remember Frodo's words at the end of this part of the story?

I spent a little time with The Two Towers--middle film of the Lord of the Rings trilogy--last weekend. I watched some of the background features while I was doing laundry and bills and such.

The timing was providential. I was very weary of my 6-month commute amid the challenges of life and family, and I was feeling a tad overwhelmed. Hearing the screenplay writers talk about the choices and edits they had to make brought out more clearly the overriding theme of this middle episode: the journey is long and dangerous and difficult, but if we keep going when there is no hope left something unexpectedly good might come along and change everything. Hmmm...

Friends

Packing up the dreams God planted

In the fertile soil of you

 In the summers of 1988 and 1989, I had the honor of traveling with two different groups of folks from my first college, North Central Bible College, now North Central University. They called us One Accord and we represented the college for 8 or 9 months on the road throughout the Midwest. Two summers of doing music at youth camps…I attended 17 one-week-long youth camps over that span. Still trying to catch up on sleep! Almost every camp ended with the Michael W Smith classic: Friends.

Cant believe the hopes he’s granted
Means a chapter in your life is through

They were the best of times, they were the worst of times. Mostly the best. But I’m not just thinking about the old OA friends tonight. I’m thinking about the whole enterprise of friendship with all of it’s color and life. It hit me a couple of years ago that I’ve had so many great friends and I had this sort of desperate feeling of disconnection from most of them. It was triggered by some sappy movie where a bunch of friends lived in a big house, but then they kinda moved away at the end, and one of them goes to visit another one at his beach house and finds pictures of the old gang plastered all over…unforgotten.

But we’ll keep you close as always
It wont even seem you’ve gone

By the way, if anyone thinks they know what movie that is, please let me know. I have no idea what it’s called. So a friend, over an Applebee’s lunch, suggested Google groups as a way of reconnecting. I started there with a degree of success. Facebook is easier to maintain and find old friends with.

I hear people say all the time, “I don’t have time to waste messing around with Facebook!” Point taken. But I’m actually find this an extremely efficient way of connecting with folks. Brandon, Virden, Winnipeg, Kenora, Manhatten Beach, Minneapolis, Stevens Point, Spencer Lake, Racine, Wausau, the Midwest, all over Canada, all over the US, all over the world…my old friends are scattered to the four winds…

‘Cause our hearts in big and small ways

Will keep the love that keeps us strong

Some say that electronic friendship is not meaningful. Again, point taken. But to push back a little, there’s also a depth and richness in surveying profiles and notes and connections that goes a whole lot deeper than shooting the breeze at the water cooler. And if we got a hand written letter, we’d think the world of that friend and their deep thoughtfulness. Hello?! I feel so much more informed and connected now when I’m fortunate enough to run into the old friends, or the new ones, or the ones I live with…

[photo: Evan, Sheri and Heather, 1972]

To the Center

OK, this is my 10th blog entry and I’m taking a moment to consider the path so far. The idea is basically, Hey, I’m a guy who’s trying to live my life with Jesus at the center, so what does that look like for me? If Jesus is at the center, what makes up the concentric circles of my life? Part of my motivation is the misconception I see every day about folks like me. So I’m taking the liberty to fill in my own circles, thank you very much, and if you’re reading this you’ve come at least part way for the ride.

So far: Filling In My Circles; I Melt; TEA Parties; Humble King; My Tribe; Ambition; Eric Clapton and My Kids; Summers with the Brew Crew; To Pastor Again…. But enough about my eccentricities! I’d like to pause today and focus purely on my center. If I could boil a near-lifetime of Jesus following down to a few paragraphs, what would I say?

I have to start with love. My center, Jesus, starts with love. God is love. And love’s not just an affectionate thing, although I’m all for expressing affection. Love has the guts and grit to say, I’m going to put your needs ahead of my own. I love the famous John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” God becoming man, forgiving us…I know I need it. I’m so thankful! So I try to emulate that self-sacrificing love.

Then this paradoxical thing happens where we lay down our lives with that sort of sacrificial commitment, and we get back more than we could have hoped for. We get joy. And it’s not just “Hey, look at my new Cadillac” joy. It’s also “Let’s go for a ride in my rusted out Bronco II” joy. And pretty much no one instinctively wants to sign up for that kind of joy, but it ends up being the real stuff. The non-mirage. I’m overwhelmed by joy.

Jason, my littlest guy, and I have been doing this thing when we hear a dove this spring: saying “I hear peacefulness.” You know, because doves are one of the symbols of peace. And we have our little house in the Shire and we run around like little hobbits in the green grass, and I thank God for peace. And we have these excruciating moments as a family, in our marriage and with our kids, and then there’s peace. And we all mature day by day, and the good times get richer, and I hear the doves. Jesus is a big peace guy.

I talked about ambition in a blog entry a few weeks ago. I have to temper that drive I feel, and that’s part of the patience I feel the Holy Spirit working in me. More Jesus. Part of it is the eternal perspective that says, in light of the grand story of God, I can humbly accept my circumstances and timeline. I need that.

Jesus was pretty direct, even hostile, with arrogant religious people. But to normal, run of the mill folks like you and I, kindness all the way. Romans 2:4: “Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?” Turns out God isn’t trying to catch me in sin and then nail me to the wall. Sweet! Makes me want to show kindness. Brings me off my high horse.

If this is sounding like a bit of a list, it is. They call it the fruit of the Spirit, in Galatians 5:22-23: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” We’re 55% done.

Good vs evil. We’re so wary of defining that these days, and not wanting to be judgmental is a good thing. But Jesus is all good. He’s like the rock under the lighthouse when the waves are going wild. I’ve still got so much to learn about good and evil and being tossed on the waves. Religious people make some very unhelpful pronouncements…but I want to have a rock at my center.

Faithfulness. Anyone ever been betrayed? Uh yeah…that’s the opposite. I don’t want even a hint of that at my center. Faithfulness has the ideas of loyalty and truth and belief. So we wake up everyday in a world of backstabbing, shades of grey and cynicism. No thanks! I want better!

Gentleness. Ah, you might have read my Humble King post. This is so core for me. Paul says it very directly in Ephesians 4:2: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Are you kidding me!!! Completely humble and gentle!!! Seriously, just put that one in your pipe and smoke it for a minute. So as I field challenges to be successful, be a winner, be powerful, be an influencer, this “completely humble and gentle” thing resonates out from the middle. Kinda feels like a spiritual “Revenge of the Nerds.” I’m OK with that.

Last stop, self-control, which is much to do with personal discipline. Paul rocks on this, 1 Cor 9:24-27: “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” So no letting myself off easy or claiming the victim tag. God help me!

There it is! In these virtues I see the character of Jesus, and that’s one angle from which to view my core. It’s so rich, so deep. I’m continually striving to be more Jesus-centric. I get distracted. My efforts get diluted and diffused, but that’s what I’m shooting for. Inside all of the circles, that’s the center.

 *****

Song links: Be the Center, Jami Smith Be the Center, Vineyard UK

To Pastor Again

So what does one write about after two very long days and nights with very little sleep? I'm going in overnight on Tuesday to sleep at the hospital and be checked for sleep apnea and possibly using a CPAP machine overnight from now on. I wish I had the machine now. I told Col the other night that I've come to hate sleeping. I'm confident that's not forever.

So what does one think about when it's difficult to think at all? Why blog about it? I've found that sometimes when mental energy is exhausted and the emotions are spent, there can be a sort of crystallization of the purest desires of the heart.

It's been over 20 years since I've felt fear of being cut off in my relationship with God. So that's my rock and my center. With my family, we've worked through some anguishing moments, but I know our love and long-term commitment is there and always brings us back to a point of intimacy and blessing. And I feel the same way about friends...always there. Beyond those basic givens then, where does my spirit wander on a day like this?

To pastoring. I love God and I love people. People explode my senses. When I walk down a crowded hallway, I'm blown away by the unbelievable presence of people. Eternal souls with infinite potential to live and love. Awesome! And I love the life-changing message of Jesus, and how the Holy Spirit brings healing and wholeness. And I love truth. Truth rocks.

Summers With the Brew Crew

OK, so my blog entries have been a bit intense lately. Sorry, I'll admit I spend a fair amount of time thinking about deep stuff. Let me tell you about another one of my concentric circles: hanging out with Bob Uecker, Ryan Braun and the rest of the Milwaukee Brewers.

I enjoy the relaxed pace of baseball. I think that means I'm getting old, but I'm OK with that. My Grandpa Sam used to enjoy the lengthy, conversational stride of major league baseball, so I feel connected that way too. Grandpa liked the Yankees, but I think that was mostly about the classy pinstripe look and perhaps a bit about the winning swagger as well. Grandpa was pretty classy guy. Then there's me, cheering on the other end of the sporting food chain...for the Brewers. They've got, oh, maybe a quarter the payroll of the Yankees, but they're our team.

Eric Clapton and My Kids

Middle of the night. Can't sleep. Listening to mp3s and catching up on email, Facebook, news, dreams...

I've heard this Dana Key song many times, but it has different meaning for me tonight. How heartbreaking for Eric Clapton to lose his son (Tears in Heaven), but there's the hope. And I think about how proud I am of my kids, how some of the best days I could imagine are just being with them. We all hate the idea of tragedy, so why not grab onto hope ahead of time? I'm grabbing some tonight.

Ambition

I woke up this morning with a song in my head. It's actually come to mind over and over through the years when I find myself pushing too hard or being overcome by drivenness. It's one of Amy Grant's very early tunes. Great finger style acoustic!

All I Ever Have to Be

When the weight of all my dreams
Is resting heavy on my head,
And the thoughtful words of health and hope
Have all been nicely said.

But I'm still hurting,
Wondering if Ill ever be
The one I think I am. I think I am.